Coutinho and Why He Should Play in China and Squeeze Every Pennies There

Ah, Philippe Coutinho. One of the finest attacking midfielder. With the magic on his feet, brings many tricks to give assist or score a screamer placing shot. Started as a young man from Brazil then came to The Blue Side of Milan, Red Side of Merseyside and now on the top of the world with Blue and Red from Catalunya. Being a key part of Barcelona, one of the greatest football clubs in the world. After winning title and cup, now he's ready to be the part of a club who conquered European football fifth time and will be the sixth. Or, has he?

Yeah, absolutely not. He's a bum. A great attacking midfielder and absolutely useless when the GOAT Messi plays. Sometimes, the gaffer made him as his experiment bunny, played as a winger and sadly not as good as Dembele who finally found his best form. And no, he's not a box-to-box or a central mid or a defensive mid. He is an attacking midfielder or maybe second strike. But again, he will not play at least until Messi has an injury, or get a suspension, or on the court facing his tax case. In sum, he has no place at Barcelona right now. And if he gets the spaces and chances, he fails to pull a rabbit out of a hat and can't prove he is worth paid by millions of Euros. Another thing which made all of this worse. He played in Spain which the second worst football media in this world after The British in my opinion. Maybe when he just went off for one match, the media gone wild and put their best to explain how bad his performance was and how Barcelona had wasted the money for a player who never knows how to lift a trophy.

So, for his own sake, where he should go now?

As a Liverpool fan, of course, I don't want him. Seriously. Even I really believe he will increase the club's attack power, being the centre of creativity. Break the bricks by assisting outta nowhere or cut inside and doing his sweet curve shot. But nah bro... His betrayal is unforgiven. Just like Michael Ow-shit-en, lifted the EPL with United. He has no place at Anfield. His number now own by our finest player, Sadio Mane. His role soon will be filled by Harry Wilson or Marko Grujic, or Chambo if he's back and healthy again. I rather make Lazar fucking Markovic as AMF then him.

If he signs with United, and yes he still has no place as well. His position is already taken by The World Champions, Paul Pogba. The greatest midfield according to Gary Neville, Phil Neville, Rio Ferdinand, Paul Scholes and Jack from Twitter. If Pogba won't play, Coutinho still on the bench. Because there is the greatest dancer, Ronaldinho's one and only heir, and the future of England's World Cup Winner squad, Jesse "Lindgardinho" Ellis Lindgard. He will be Alexis Sanchez 2.0 at Manchester. No one wants him on the team yet he is there and has no clue why he is there. I bet his countrymate Fred also won't talk to him because of his less of SWAGness.

How about PSG? There are a lot of Brazilian there and his best friend Neymar is there too. Coutinho will be happy there and will be back what he used to be. The Brazil connection is real. They will win all of the prizes. Ligue 1, Coupe France, Coupe de France, UEFA Champions League, UEFA Europa League, The Club World Cup, X-Factor France, France Got Talent, everything. But once again, nah... Even Neymar out-shadowed by a teenager named Kylian Mbappe. And what Coutinho expect for? The main man? Nah bro... I believe the first thing he does when arrives in the training complex is washes Mbappe's boots and later night gives Buffon massage.

If you ask me, where he should go? Like the title of this essay, he should fly to China and play some football there. Maybe he will be the GOAT of China considering the quality of the league. He also can get paid way much, sorry not way much but tons of money there. Like Tevez and Oscar who clearly played there just to earn money as many as possible, they can earn. No pressure from media, no pressure from fans, and maybe still play for the national team just like Paulinho. He will make the best stats for a football player. He will average 100% complete pass (long, mid, short), 5 assists per game, 5 goals per game with 100% free kick percentage, and of course 101% of win percentage. China and Asian are easily on his grasp.

In the end, I hope he will find his form. Since he will enter his golden age.  Either with Barcelona, or other European or some Jiang or Guan club at China Super League.

You used to smile, even though trophyless...

Image from Skysport